To Come Back
by RT4ever
Summary: Two brothers: one who ran, one who forgot, finally do the one thing their father prayed for. They come back. Final Chapter Up.
1. To Come Back

**Okay so this is the start of the little AJ returning story I mentioned at the end of "Sanctuary." It's just a snippet of a story really at just past a thousand words and the total story shouldn't have more than 5, but I've had a major case of writer's block, so when the final little part of this part one actually wanted to be written, I couldn't resist and figured I'd post it to see if there's even a point to writing more. **

**And yes, it'****s "To Come Back" from Jason's final words to Alan, just moments too late. I loved Steve Burton in that scene, I wish the writers would allow him more, more of everything that is, in the show. **

**I hope this appeals to you just a bit, oh and there will actually be dialogue in the chapters that follow this. :-P (and do remember from my previous description, it's very soap opera in its content and explanations) **

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**To Come Back **

_To come back, to return. Volver, a movie he'd never seen. _

_The words themselves conveyed an image of a pen gliding across the paper in long flowing script. Memoirs of a story to be told. _

_How could it be a memoir though when it was stranger than fiction? But sometimes that's how it was with life..._

-x-x-X-x-x-

There were haunting memories at every turn. Laughter, fights, memories so vague, just a glimpse of a feeling at something, memories of another life, one he had long since tried to convince himself hadn't existed. No matter how hard he wished it though, he knew now that his efforts had never been successful and putting it behind him had only been a dream he allowed himself for a few years.

The pain that drove at his heart, all the past memories, past actions and everything he'd missed and failed to say...It convinced him, the man that he had hoped had died never truly had.

But to the people he was walking amongst now, he had. It had been a long tragic death, he heard. Small deaths that finally cumulated into one horrific end.

He was finally good and dead in their eyes. _So why did he walk amongst them now? _

Since he found out, he expected some type of relief to follow. Relief that they would never find out, never find him. Yet there was still that young boy that couldn't die within him. The one that wanted them to look at him as they always looked at his brother.

He had been a monster of sorts, he had taken the life of the person he had loved the most, but how they could think he was capable of such crimes, such heartless acts…

It pained him; it nearly destroyed him, everything they thought of him…

Yet here he was. Finally. After years away, he returned and deep within him he knew the reason, he was still asking for their forgiveness, still asking their approval. Only now it was too late.

He had to see her though. He had to do something. He had to hope he could make it at least a little better for her. He had to do something, anything to try to heal some of the pain.

He was grateful as he watched Jason walk out of Harbor View Towers after trying to talk himself into going in for the past ten minutes.

He tailed him at a distance, amazed he wasn't somehow spotted, but Jason looked lost to the world around him.

He wondered if his brother was grieving. If he had learned to once more love their father when it had seemed so impossible when he left. He wondered if he would have stayed if there had been even the slightest chance Jason would have forgiven him. _He would have just destroyed him all over again though. _

Jason stopped as he reached the end of the docks and gave his brother just a moment to truly see him.

His hair was darker, with gel almost past his shade, the observing man realized. Jason's hair had never been darker than his. Jason lived and breathed the sun, not surprising since he was always light and goodness. It had made sense for him to be the fairer of the two even in looks.

He opened his mouth to speak, to call out his brother's name, but the words wouldn't come. All that was there was the silent gasp of pain because despite the years, it had never gotten easier. Losing him…

Losing him was his punishment, every crime, every ignorant thing he'd ever said or done…

Truth be told though, he couldn't believe that all of his actions could warrant such a horrific punishment as the loss of his brother.

Seeing him now, he realized the depth of that pain could never be filled and trying to forget had been foolish.

It was watching Jason take a shuddered breath though that finally pulled him out of his own misery.

The simple call of "Jason," pulled Jason's head down from its upward tilt towards the sky, opened his eyes and caused his body to spin.

And there they were looking at each other.

"You've grown up," was the unlikely statement to leave AJ's lips as he watched his brother look at him in shock and confusion. "I never thought of you growing old," his brother had remained frozen in time in his memories, daydreams and nightmares. _That wasn't why he was here though. _

Reassured by the fact that his brother hadn't reached for his gun, he descended the steps, knowing why he had come to him, knowing it was too late to change anything between them.

Jason still seemed too stunned to speak, knowing he should, but not knowing what to say. _He should shoot him. He had to stop him now, but… _

"I need to see her," AJ stopped a few steps away from his brother. Ignoring the urge that still remained to throw his arms around him and beg forgiveness and seek to comfort and be comforted in same act.

Jason's head turned halfway in a shake, he didn't understand what was going on. The man before him, he knew as AJ, but in the same moment he wasn't sure, he couldn't trust his eyes.

"I need to explain things I know, but let me see her first. I don't care what you do afterwards. I just…" his eyes closed in pain. They opened again and with a continuing nod, his voice creaked out, "I just need to see her," his eyes closed in pain against the tears that were threatening to brim.

_She was it._ All that was left really. His childhood family…_Only her._

He just had to show her…Show her there really had been something good in him deep down. She had once believed it. _Hadn't she? _

Jason's mouth remained open for a moment before closing to give a nod, his eyes unblinking. He couldn't do it to her. He couldn't take him away again. His mind warned him it would probably be kinder to stop the pain now before it could begin again, but……And that was where his mind got stuck once more.

So there two men who had once been brothers stood. Two bodies that had spent over twenty years close by, had hugged, had punched, had slumped in defeat and pain along with the other, but had cheered in victory as well. Two sets of near identical cheekbones, the same build and now nearly the same hair color and cut. It had never been their looks that had made people doubt them as brothers.

But one rash act had finally proven them right and taken away their bond, what had truly made them brothers, leaving only the biology behind and the older man, suddenly couldn't find any words to respond with, grief for a lost father, masked by the greater loss of a brother he could no longer reach despite being an arms length away. He nodded before leaving and left in his wake was the younger man who in the span of a few days had found himself questioning everything in his life and situations he had never prepared for and had no idea how to face.

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**So go on or not?**


	2. Homecomings

**Oh yes Sean Kanan people, if you'd forgotten from my earlier story description in "Sanctuary," it's always SK when I write. He's just… :-D **

**Oh and don't forget people. SOAP OPERA…**

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews last time!!! **

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** Homecomings **

The cabbie gave him an odd look as he dropped him off on the street, still a good distance away from the Q mansion. With the closest house being over an acre away and his attire being that of what it was: an old baseball cap, a scruffy beard, a new winter jacket he had picked up when he'd flown into New York and still hiding behind a pair of sunglasses he had only taken off when talking to Jason, he didn't exactly fit into the residents of Harbor View Road.

He wondered if Jason ever wondered about the peculiarity of that. How he had run from them, first to a train car, then a room above Jake's, with every step he took away from them, led him closer to that exact life he'd peeled out from. Drama, murder, revenge, backstabbing, he'd run away from Harbor View Road, to Harbor View Drive and the exact same life he'd abhorred.

The cabbie was giving him a look as he pulled out the garment bag and duffel he'd left stashed in a bus station locker as he'd gone to seek out Jason.

""Robbers don't carry luggage," he said to the man with a smile.

The cabbie's eyes focused clearly on him for a moment as he realized that was a valid point.

"I'm just trying to avoid the reporters," the drive leading up to their house was a mess. _People had no courtesy in this town. _

"Good luck with that," the cabbie nodded, "town's crawling with reporters," his wife had reported to him there had been a reporter from Japan interviewing local citizens who had ventured past the Metro Court either out of necessity or curiosity. _People flocked to horror, _made him rethink those video games he let his sons play.

The younger man soon slipped inside of the property without detection and contemplated going to his grandmother's rose garden despite their lack of blooms to try to find some of her peace.

He couldn't put this off though; he didn't know how long Jason would give him. He slipped into the house easily, almost too easily, he wondered what they were thinking in this day and age.

He could hear them, _fighting of course, _in the living room. He dropped his bags by the stairs, hanging his suit on the railing and wondered 'where was Reggie?' Reginald never let a visitor get the one up on him.

Ned was by the terrace doors pacing while on the phone with one ear covered by a finger trying to block out the noise. His grandfather's face was turned nearly the shade of the woman's hair he was fighting with, while his Aunt Tracy attacked her from another side. Emily, who was trying to intervene, was being ignored.

And then there was his mother, softly touching a picture of his father, oblivious to the world around her.

He just watched her fingers softly trace the frame as his throat closed up. _He wanted to run, not to her though. Opposite direction. He just wanted to run… _

She turned for no reason, just an inexplicable draw to turn her head.

Confusion at first. True and utter confusion.

His mouth just opened, no words emerging.

Her mouth opened too and her eyes started to well up.

_'Disgust, anger,'_ he wondered.

Then the corners of her mouth lifted slightly and he realized with shock that it was relief, it was joy.

His brow narrowed, trying to figure out the puzzle, _she should hate him_. She had loved him more, had forgiven more than most in his family, but still…

The picture frame was placed on the coffee table without much reverence as she suddenly rushed towards him, tears streaking down her cheeks before she touched him.

"Oh thank god,"

_He wanted to run._

His body remained frozen though, his mouth parted ever so slightly, but nothing came out.

'What the-' Edward exclaimed.

"Mom-" was all he could get out, in a weak whisper, his head shaking slightly, nearly indistinguishable. He wanted to cry, he wanted to curl up in her lap as he would as a child, he wanted to beg forgiveness as she consoled him. _Sorry for being a failure on every level there was… _

The corners of her mouth lifted up more as her hand came to his face. "My boy." Her head shook as everyone remained in shocked silence for the first time ever in the household. "I don't care where you've been, what you've done." Both hands clasped his face. "I don't care," her promise firm and unyielding, "what matters is that you're here, You're okay." Then suddenly her mouth just opened and she took a gasping breath, "Oh god, you're alive," she crumpled towards him and he had no option, but to wrap his arms around her as he felt her shake against him.

"I'm sorry Mom," he whispered and he could feel her head shaking against him, wanting to tell him 'it didn't matter', but unable to speak.

It was then that Edward finally came back to life, his heart that had momentarily been lightened, had quickly fallen back to earth. "Monica," he started storming towards the doorway, "you're making a fool of yourself. AJ is dead. This imposter," his hand waved, "is merely trying to use our grief to turn a quick buck." He swung back to his eldest grandson, whose call had been forgotten, "Get on the phone with the police, I want Mac here personally to escort this fraud to jail. Oh you," his finger waggled, as he approached even further, Monica staring at her father-in-law in disbelief, "I bet you thought you were real clever coming here now. This must have been in the works a long time or is it one of those Hollywood masks, whip it up in a couple of days from a few newspaper clippings?"

"Good to see you too grandfather," he answered dryly.

"Don't you dare thinking using that boy's disrespectful and sarcastic attitude will get you a free pass-"

"Did you ever consider that you have to earn someone's respect?" His temper started to flare, _he remembered now, remembered so strongly. _

"Says the grifter in my living room."

"Last time I checked it wasn't your house," AJ quickly retorted before his mother could.

"That is family business, something you have no right even mentioning."

"Hey what's going on in here," Luke said shortly after strolling into the house to hear raised voices, then he stopped just inches short of AJ and Monica in the doorway, "holy shit." He turned back to look at the stairway, he knew AJ had taken the near fatal plunge off of, which had led to his final demise.

He started smacking his body, looking down for any signs of obvious injury, _yup no bloody gunshot wounds, _he felt his head, _same bumps that were always there,_ he looked at AJ again and then the stairwell.

"Oh stop putting on a show and escort the imposter out of the house Luke," his wife's hoarse voice ordered him.

"Will you both stop it, I know my son," Monica held him again, firmly clasped to her, planning on never letting him go again.

Something appeared in his eyes quickly that the entire room saw before he diminished its appearance, heartache. "Blood, hair or saliva sample?" he calmly asked Edward, no emotion in his voice.

"I'm fine with all three," he easily replied back.

AJ nodded, "I don't want anything, I don't want your money, I don't expect you to forgive me; I just thought I should be here."

"Good because I'm not sharing it," Luke said with a slap on AJ's back as he walked into the room.

"Oh god AJ," Emily finally let out.

"How?" Skye asked going to lean against the desk, unable to support herself any longer.

He stared at the redhead who had asked the question, _another adopted daughter. _It shouldn't make him bitter yet it did. It had from the moment he had read it online. He had loved both Emily and Jason with all of his heart, yet he was always jealous, _he had been their son…Their first child… _

"Oh god," Monica's hand went up to her mouth.

AJ looked down at his mother as the entire room looked across.

"We have to get you out of here," she quickly separated from him. She walked out into the hallway, she came back into the room shaking her head.

"Edward, call and have them prepare the jet. Tracy, Emily go outside and cause a scene, we're going to need a distraction if we're going to get AJ out of here without the reporters knowing. Oh god they didn't see you come in did they?"

"No, I-"

"Good," she turned to Luke, "I'm going to need your help-"

"Mom what are you doing?" Emily asked in concern walking towards her mother.

Monica stopped her nervous actions as her daughter laid a hand on her arm, "We have to get your brother out of here before Jason or worse Sonny finds out. We might have a chance-"

"I already saw Jason."

Monica turned to her son, all eyes in the room did as well, "You saw Jason?"

"You saw Jason and he didn't kill you, Junior?" Ned shook his head, "Now we know for sure he's a fake."

"He wouldn't do that to you," light eyes promised his mother, tinged with pain, "he's the good son, remember?"

"Oh AJ," a few steps completed her trip to him and a tender hand went to his cheek.

"Don't pity me for something that's true."

"Cook wanted me to find out if-" Alice's voice froze as she stared at AJ with wide eyes. "Uh Mister, uh-" she went to turn back to the stairs.

"Don't look at the stairs Alice," Luke called out with a devilish expression, lips turned up.

She looked around the room, everyone standing, no one attacking him. _ Alive? _Not that she wanted him dead, but after what he had done to poor Mr. Alan. And poor little Michael and Kristina…She had loved and taken care of Kristina…

She realized the young man was still staring at her, she found herself looking deep into his eyes, "Did you get Lasik sir?"

His brow narrowed, "No, I wear glasses for reading."

Her lips went up a half smile as she shook her head, "I didn't know they made contacts just for-" she stared at him again and frowned looking around the room, "did we move a lamp? Weren't your eyes always lighter without your contacts? I never understood why you wanted to cover up such a lovely sky blue."

Monica's head shook, "What are you talking about, AJ's eyes were never sky blue?"

AJ laughed, a bitter, hurt, laugh, if it wasn't his life, it would have been truly funny. "Contacts," he laughed again. "Over ten years and the only one who noticed was the help," he laughed louder.

"What in god's name is that boy talking about?" Edward asked.

"Oh god," Monica's hand rose up to her mouth in fear as awareness started to dawn in her eyes. "No," her eyes shut, "it's not possible."

"Oh for-" Edward began again as the rest of his family was stunned into stupidity.

Luke debated letting the old man out of his hell, but was cut off by Ned, "AJ's trying to tell you he isn't the fraud, the man we buried was."

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**AN: Very good Lakergirl. Only one who got the 'childhood family' reference meaning 'she' could have only meant Monica. And no Tracy does not count as family, not one anyone would admit to. :-P **

**And I warned you folks SOAP OPERA!!!**


	3. A Comedy of Tragic Proportions

SammiJ: Reggie went on a cruise after Lila's death because he was so heartbroken. Apparently it was a cruise to the Bermuda Triangle.

AN: So I was writing another chapter of Sanctuary, when I popped in a Lois and Clark dvd (hadn't seen them since they were on tv so I've been netflixing) and who pops up on my screen? Sean…Now that is just a delightful surprise, so of course it means I should be writing this (even though Sanctuary sooo wins in the review department…Not to mention the first chapter of this got ten reviews and the second dropped to four, so I'm pretty sure I'm doing something wrong…I was going to save creepy voice over from the first chapter for the last, but I can go back to doing those?)

There's a lot of exposition in the chapter. I wanted to just get the back story out there and over with.

**Thanks for reading!**

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** A Comedy of Tragic Proportions **

The entire thing was comical, Luke thought to himself as he watched the slack jawed idiots that he now technically called family.

"No," he listened to Monica's voice creak out.

"That's just preposterous," his wife's voice, seemingly strong voice, condemned from next to him, but he could hear the slight crack.

Edward simply laughed; he could hear the bravado in it, the substance fading.

"Ten years?" Emily simply asked, having heard those words, but not being able to grasp them.

Edward laughed again, "You know that bold-faced lie is the most convincing proof of evidence you are AJ. Only he would try to remove himself of all guilt."

"No," AJ turned to Edward quickly, "I still put Jason into that tree or actually Lois' car into that tree." _Jason had struck a rock as he hit the ground. _At least that was what Ned had told him. "I killed my brother," the words from his mouth slammed into his heart at full speed, still making him want to throw up after all of these years, wanting to hide inside a bottle and never leave.

"You didn't kill him," Emily softly consoled, "he's just different. He's still Jason in all the important ways."

A mix between a scoff and a laugh, left through closed lips. _A mob enforcer…His sweet little brother. _

"Oh god," Monica spoke as she make her way over to the couch, near collapse. _They had been bad parents, but they couldn't have been that bad. _

"Oh Monica calm down," Edward scolded, having enough of this foolishness when his son had just died. "If by some chance, this," he waved his hand at AJ, "turns out to be true. It just means that he wasn't guilty of kidnapping three innocent children and letting us think Michael was dead and shooting his father." Not even he had been able to comprehend AJ capable of all that. "Then again, knowing AJ, he probably hired the imposter." He frowned, "Actually that does seem a little complicated for AJ. Lord knows that boy failed to think in the long term on a regular basis."

AJ frowned at his grandfather.

"I for one understand why you'd ditch this family Junior," Luke offered up with a smile as he moved to pour himself a drink.

"Shut up," Tracy, Edward and Monica declared in unison.

"I think we're all missing one important fact, DNA tests confirmed you were around after ten years," Ned reminded the room, _Michael's DNA test. _

"I'm a little interested in hearing that as well," Jason said walking into the room; he had been listening outside of for the past few minutes. Coming to his senses eventually on the docks and realizing he needed to act, unsure of how to act, but knowing he needed to.

AJ looked at his brother and felt that tree slam into his heart again.

"We're waiting," Edward condescendingly provoked.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. _He had no idea how that had been pulled off. _

"You don't know?" Tracy's accusing voice, antagonized him

He shook his head in guilt. "I woke up and I was pretty beat up."

"Beat up?" Monica perked up for that, "Were you kidnapped?"

"No," his head immediately shook, then fell into a moment of stillness as a puzzled frown graced his face, "I don't know." His head shook again, "I don't remember."

"Courtesy of the amount of booze you'd consumed, no doubt," Edward shook his head, thankful Alan wasn't around to witness this.

"No," his eyes grew firmer for that, "I don't think so. I thought so, but…" his head shook, still trying to clear out the cobwebs after over a year of trying

"Maybe you should start from the beginning," Emily gently offered, feeling the urge to protect this possible stranger, who suddenly felt more like family than AJ had in years.

"I didn't realize any of that was going on," he spoke only to his sister, she'd been a little girl the last time he saw her, loving, sweet, trying to get over the loss of both her brother and mother within a few years, their mother's very public affair, and nearly killing herself on drugs. He had been so sure she would be better off without him, he had been right.

She continued to watch him with tender eyes, she reminded him of Lila.

"I was going to leave," he nodded truthfully, acknowledging his part in this. "I couldn't be here anymore. Everything I touched," his head shook and he continued to speak only to her, "no matter how hard I tried…"

"I know," she nodded compassionately.

"Michael wasn't mine, Jason hated me, and Keesha…" _Keesha had been a constant reminder of Jason, _he shrugged his shoulders, "It was best for everyone; it should have been."

The rest of the family wisely remained silent; acknowledging the role Emily had taken over from Lila just a few years ago as they allowed themselves to be eaten by guilt, remembering how it had once been.

"AJ none of this explains-"

He cut her off, "He probably would have killed me. I realized that once I figured it all out. Daniel Brandt. I worked with him at the hotel and then at the Charles Street Foundation. Around the same height, hair color, skin. From the back or far away people would confuse us." He smiled, "Even you did it a few times. He told me how embarrassed you got," he smiled tenderly seeing that little girl before not the woman, "you turned bright red and stammered when you realized it wasn't me."

Something about that sounded vaguely familiar in her head.

"I thought he was a good friend, never complained about my drinking, he'd let me rant about you guys, always telling me that I was right." He frowned, "Jason never really seemed to like him. Didn't trust him. As always," AJ shrugged with a smile, not needing to verbalize Jason always being right.

His eyes closed and he grimaced before opening them again, "He liked me because I was a Quartermaine, just like everyone else. After I moved out, when I was working at the hospital, he came by a few times, trying to talk me into going back." His head shook, "I didn't make any sense, I was happy, I was sober, finally my own person. The last few times I saw him, he was furious at me."

"Of course he was," Edward interjected, "he was trying to ride your coattails. A goddamn councilman AJ, you'd finally-" Edward suddenly stopped short, perturbed with himself for falling for this…This dream.

"Yea I got that." He laughed. "He apologized, said he was offered a job out of town… Detroit. Carly was over," his head shook in amusement at himself, "and I wanted to get rid of him so I could talk to her. He called every few weeks, I didn't really notice then how he let me do most of the talking and he'd always be asking questions…I'm pretty sure I told him everything, I needed someone to tell everything to." _He'd actually thought the guy, a really great guy. Reminded him of Jason, all give, no get. _

"A week maybe two after Michael was born, I had a drink in my hand and I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I was packing when I called him ask if I could crash on his couch, while I figured out what to do. He told me he was in the middle of moving back to Port Charles, but if I really wanted to disappear, he knew some people that could help and that he'd hook me up with them. All new documents, a whole new life." _He had been desperate, beyond desperate; the walls had been closing in on him. _

"Been there before," Luke suddenly tossed in, tired of remaining silent for so long, though he had to admit, the kid did weave a good, yet highly unlikely story. Then again, considering how many aliases and how long he, Laura and Lucky had been on the run… "It's highly overrated."

"I don't know," AJ smirked, "I was pretty fond of it. I don't do AJ Quartermaine well."

"Back on track AJ," Ned firmly commanded his now oldest living cousin, "you handed your life over to this guy."

His eyes filled with fury as he looked at his cousin, "You think I would have done that? You think if I had any idea... I was a fucking idiot Ned, but not even I would have done that."

"So what happened?" Emily asked as she attempted to return the peace.

"It was the day after Michael's christening, he was supposed to be catching a late flight in, I was meeting him at Molly Mac's," he said referring to a small bar/restaurant located just in the neighboring town. "There was a good band playing…" His head shook. "I remember getting there and the next thing I knew it was morning, the sun wasn't even fully up yet, I was passed out in an alley. I didn't have a jacket anymore and it was winter. I had a pretty nasty bump on my head, a lot of bruises, scrapes, a bad cut on my hand." His thumb ran over its scar. "My watch, wallet, cell phone, keys were all missing. I got a cab, luckily I had a well known face and he let me run in for money," he shook his head.

"I called Dan; he told me his flight had been delayed and eventually canceled, packed his phone in his check in bags by accident. He called me as he was leaving the airport and had spent the night in a friend's house. Sure enough when I checked my messages there was a saved message from him in my voicemail. I had been angry," his head shook, "upset over Michael's christening," _sad, he had actually been sad. _"It didn't seem too shocking that I would have ordered a drink," _that would have turned into twenty. _

"He told me that he was on a later flight that afternoon. I told him I couldn't wait, that I had to leave." AJ's head shook, "He gave me his friend's address. My papers were waiting," a wry grimace accompanied that information, amazed at easily he played into the other man's hand.

"And you just left?" Monica's eyes fell further.

"I left a note," he offered.

"What did it say?" she asked with a tight throat.

"I don't-"

"What did it say?" she asked more firmly, knowing that a good-bye note was not something one forgot.

"Something along the lines of this family sucks anything good dry," his stance hardened as told her

She nodded, sucking back the pain for a moment, "We did," she admitted. "We still do on a lot of different levels." She smiled as sweetly as she could, as she looked at him with new eyes, "I'm glad you left," her head bobbed slightly, "I'm devastated that you had to leave, but you-" her eyes closed tightly for a few seconds as everyone wondered if they should go to her, "you look well."

"I am," he promised.

The room grew uncomfortably silent until Tracy spoke, "So let me make sure we all have this clear. A friend of yours from the hotel got so annoyed with you for ditching the family that he decided to," Tracy's hands lifted to their sides in a question and her head tilted to the right, "get plastic surgery to look like you? Would have killed you and taken over your life if you hadn't decided to leave on your own?"

"I'm going to assume yes since I talked to him through email a few times a year. I even sent him a letter once for Grandmother."

"And you never happened to notice your face in the papers?"

"I didn't know anything about it, until about a year ago when someone told me I looked like AJ Quartermaine, the guy that had faked his own kid's death and kidnapped him, shot his father, went plunging off a balcony before being killed by a guy that was blackmailing him for trying to kill his own brother," he laughed at the absurdity of it all. "You know guys," he smiled brightly, "if nothing else threw you. A note saying, I wanted Jason killed?" He laughed again, "If I'd been a good, selfless brother, maybe," he nodded. "Jason would have despised being a vegetable, but do you really think I would have let him leave me without doing everything in my power to keep him? Let alone actively, knowingly kill him? Hell, the moment he went to work for Sonny, if I had been any type of a brother, if I respected him more than I cared about myself, I would…" his head shook, "Jason would have begged me to."

"But with Jason out of the way," Tracy's hoarse voice intruded of his condemnation of their ignorance, "you would have finally been a shoo-in for favorite son."

He laughed, "No, I would have been competing with a ghost." His eyes closed, "I knew what he would have wanted, but I…" they opened again, "my brother," he said looking at Jason. "I was there for everything," his focus turned to scan from Tracy, to Edward, to Ned, "none of you were." He turned to his mother with watery eyes, "My little brother." His head bobbed at her at the importance of those three little words, "I didn't even remember a time without him. I never knew a world without him."

"I know," she answered in pain.

The tears started to stream down his cheek, "We shared a room until I was fourteen and I wanted to room with Chris, we played on soccer teams together, baseball, basketball, we went to camp together. There was never a day in my life without Jason in it, in some way."

Monica's mouth opened to speak, but instead her eyes just blinked and sent a fresh wave of tears down her cheeks, her hand once more rose up to her mouth. _They had been so lost in their pain. Then so concerned over the change in Jason. Then finding out AJ had been driving…They hadn't noticed their son had lost his only real family. He had been forgotten, his pain not deemed worthy. _

He left out a short, amused laugh, "I may have thought about killing Jason," he laughed again as he recalled his little brother interrupting a rather intense make-out session with Lisa Farraday as a freshman that he had worked so hard for, "many times. But I promise you, I never knowingly acted on it. I never thought of my drinking hurting him."

"But it did," Tracy tossed in.

Ned accusingly glared at his mother, "Maybe we shouldn't be rehashing that, but focusing on the fact that we seemed to have not noticed AJ wasn't AJ for seven years because I'm assuming he has actual proof aside from his DNA to prove he hasn't been around that long." There was something new in AJ. A guilt, a well earned guilt albeit, but true remorseful guilt that had always tended be lacking in him. Well earned condemnations of their family granted, but for once he hadn't taken himself out of the assignment of blame.

AJ turned to him, "Jay Kiernan, born in Middletown, CT. June 15th 1973. My passport's in my bag. If you look, you'll find a trail of Visas since I've been in Africa most of the time, I even pay my taxes on time," he smiled. "Of course under the law lately, I could probably go away longer for all of that than if I'd actually kidnapped three children, assaulted everyone in my family and tried to kill my brother."

" Africa?"

"Jessica Becker, she had been a TA of Jason's when he was a freshman, they were pen-pals I guess." He let out a small laugh. "I answered one of her letters after…" he nodded, "She was really nice even after she found that I was the one responsible. When I needed a new start, she was in Rwanda with a relief organization, most with her were doctors, but it seemed like the best place to go. Jason would have gone, I had killed him…"

"You went to Africa to atone for killing your brother," Ned dryly asked.

"It was a good idea at the time," _it hadn't been like that. Not entirely. It had just been something else. Anything else was what he needed._

"What group?" Tracy asked having none of this nonsense and wanted answered she could verify.

"A Single Light, they're a-"

"Africa?" his mother broke out of yet another stunned silence with the single questioning word.

"It made sense that I should help people," he answered.

"You've been in Rwanda all this time?"

His head shook, " Rwanda, Sudan, Kenya…"his head shook, not wanting to remember, not wanting to go on, it had numbed him after time, but not enough that he ever wanted to remember. He let another smile, acting as if it didn't bother, "Small town in upstate New York wasn't big news there."

"And I'm assuming this Jessica person will confirm this story," Tracy near rolled her eyes.

"I'm sure she would have if she hadn't died five years ago," he hardened even more.

"You were in love with her," Emily whispered.

He didn't say anything for a moment before wording his answer carefully, "We got used to having each other, we depended on each other."

Skye finally spoke, having long faded into a stunned wallflower, the man she'd loved as a brother...that man had been a lie. "Alan would have been so happy to know you were alright."

And just like that it erupted again. Chaos and accusations and he was left bobbing in its merciless current as the events leading up to his father's death were recounted and he was nearly forgotten. Just a pair of blue eyes staring at him at eye level, offering him nothing.

Those were more painful than anything he faced from them.

* * *

**So umm, still reading? Or actually better question, still liking?**

I made the time period, ten years because I remember them referring to Michael as being ten in some episode, I know it's NOT the correct time based on when the actual events occurred, if they raised it to 11 and I don't remember, let me know and I'll change it.

And Ned saying 7 years isn't a typo. AJ was gone for a year (after he stole the $) and has been dead for two.

As for blood tests, AJ doesn't know how they were faked (Not like those are that hard to do in soap land anyway). It's as simple as that, he wasn't here, he doesn't know.

* * *

**Preview of "An Unexpected Family"**

_-It was a favor asked not just of him, but the man he was. One he tried to forget, then one day it all changed. Staring: Jason, Brenda, Sonny and the Q's._

** -x-x-X-x-x-**

** The PCPD-**

He was trapped.

Caged like an animal when his son was missing, a son he wasn't supposed to have.

It didn't matter that he was momentarily freed from those confining gray walls, the shackles on his wrists and ankles and the dozen guns within easy reach of all the cops in the squad room, sealed his fate.

He was to do nothing.

They were leading him out of the interrogation room, a momentary stop by the guard escorting him by another. He saw Liz off in a corner talking to Lainey, their eyes briefly connected, her sorrow evident. Lucky quickly moved into view and Jason's eyes shifted away as the other man shot him a look.

He watched Robin come in. Watched her breathless and panicked. He took a step to help her, forgetful of his predicament only to be stopped by the guard and pulled back.

Her eyes found his and he watched them grow large and fill with tears.

His eyes just widened in fear, tears unable to fall.

"Oh god," Elizabeth pushed her way past everyone, towards Robin.

Robin didn't seem to hear her, her eyes connected with his own and he watched as she startled as Elizabeth grabbed her arm.

"What…" was all Elizabeth could get out.

Robin just shook her head and she turned back to Jason, "Jason," her voice creaked out, she had been so driven to reach him, but now that she was here.

He took another attempted step towards her, the guards once more stopped him; he shook his arms attempting to pry them off to no avail.

"Robin," Mac said rushing towards her with a tender voice, "what's wrong? What happened?"

Her head shook and she made a desperate attempt at breathing, before looking up at her uncle with doe eyes, "It's Brenda," she whispered, the words easier to say to her uncle than Jason.

Jason stopped struggling against the guards and went still.

"They don't think she's…" Robin's head dropped and her eyes closed, a shaky gasp of breath emerged from her. In what seemed like slow motion, her head turned and her eyes opened and wide blue, were connected with sorrowful brown, "Sophia was in the car."

Their eyes stayed connected as the squad room became eerily still.

"It's bad," was all she could say.

_"I have a favor Jason," Brenda announced into the phone with her usual bluntness. _

_"I'm not going to like this am I?" he asked as his eyes closed. _

_"Probably not, but it was Lila's idea, so you have to at least listen to it," she laughed. _

_"Go ahead," he offered without much enthusiasm. _

_"Not over the phone, meet me for lunch, I'm in town." _

_He had a feeling; he really wasn't going to like this. _

"Oh god," Mac's voice barely reached their ears.

"Did you ask him?" Patrick came bursting into the room at full speed.

"Ask what?" Mac questioned, still dazed from the revelation. Brenda and her little girl with the hazel eyes, all of her seemed to be smiling in every picture he'd ever seen.

Robin looked up at her uncle, "You need to let Jason go."

"Robin," his head shook, "I'm sorry about Brenda and Sophia, but Jason isn't even her husband anymore."

"The accident damaged Sophia's liver, they don't think…" she couldn't say it, she was a doctor and she didn't know how to say it.

"I'm sorry sweetheart-" Mac began, unable to understand what Jason had to do with any of this.

"She's my daughter Mac," Jason announced to the whole room, his expression, his tone completely blank, all of him going completely numb.

* * *

** So now would be the time if you voted yes for me to write this and now are no longer sure, to take it back before I devote too much time/effort to it. :-P  
**


	4. Ramifications

1) Definitely more Unexpected Family after I finish either this or Sanctuary. Thanks for wanting more of it!!!

2) Don't worry SammiJ, Reg is at least going to be recovered in a fic because I'm going to show you where he's been in an Unexpected Family.

3) I'm glad you guys are okay with letting me write this as a true soap opera, bringing back SK otherwise would have proven VERY difficult.

4) Thanks sooo much for all your words of encouragement. YOU GUYS ROCK!!

Now onto part four…

* * *

**Ramifications **

His throat felt tight. So did his heart…his eyes. He could feel a pounding in his chest that had only grown louder, stronger since Alan's death.

His father.

Theirs.

A stranger to him, just like the man before him now.

He couldn't understand. The pounding was too loud.

AJ…

Alan…

He had finally understood about Alan as he'd rushed back to him. Finally understood what Robin had tried to explain to him so many years ago. Understood that vague concept of family, a family you didn't choose that didn't choose you, but was part of you regardless.

Robin had told him once that it was his responsibility to take care of them because their Jason couldn't, he had tried. He hadn't liked it, but he had tried.

At least he thought he tried, but now…

AJ…

He hadn't liked the guy. There had always been something about him, pitiful.

Talking about Jason though, the Jason that wasn't anymore, it was Sam and her baby, Carly when she thought she lost Michael…The same he'd felt with both those losses.

He had felt sorry for him and not just pity.

_How had he not seen it? _

How could he have missed another person slipping into his place? Had he been so angry that he had been that blind?

He understood it better than he had then, after Alan, he understood...The anger and the desperation they'd inflicted on him after the accident…

He didn't know how to look at him, neither of them turned elsewhere, but he didn't know how to look at him. He had failed him, he had failed their parents, their sister, Michael, just by being so caught up in his anger, he had failed them all. Everyone that the person he had believed was AJ had hurt over the years. It had been his failure.

He could see it now that same look he'd often seen in AJ for almost two years and nearly never again and it wasn't anger, a softness, along with fear…pain. A vulnerability. He only knew its look from practice. Robin, Carly, Sam as they'd begged his forgiveness.

His throat was getting tighter.

"And why did I think you'd actually be trying to get along in Alan's memory after you didn't do it for Lila's?" Carly's boisterous voice interjected into the chaos that swirled around the two brothers, in a haze of noise, all words oblivious, but hers.

"Oh no," her eyes went wide seeing AJ.

"How does this house have absolutely no security?" Tracy questioned aloud in an agitated voice, "I mean for goodness sake we live in a mansion."

"He's supposed to be dead," Carly said coming up beside Jason, blocking her body with his from AJ's view.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Carly," AJ responded wryly.

"Shoot him," she ordered in Jason's ear, "shoot him now."

"I have had enough of this Cain and Abel nonsense between you two," Edward ordered coming to walk by the men, in between them, but not blocking their view of each other, "your father has just died, I expect you two to figure out how to co-exist at least for the time being."

"He kidnapped my son and let me think he was dead," Carly near screamed in shock and outrage.

"Oh yes," Edward waved his hand, "someone should probably explain that to her."

"Explain it to me?" she held on to Jason's shoulder as she looked past him to the older man, "Explain it to me?" she laughed. She looked at Jason, "Do you hear him?"

"Carly, you should try to calm down," Jason said pulling her back as she moved to go past him and was heading straight for Edward's jugular.

"Good luck with that one-" Edward's harsh comment fell on his lips as he realized something, "He never signed the papers," Edward's eyes went blank for a moment before lighting in joy. "You never signed the papers," he looked straight at AJ.

"What papers?" AJ asked in true confusion.

"Oh my," his head bounced with excitement, "I have to get the lawyers on the phone," he headed towards the desk, "Monica, get your medical bag, we'll need samples to prove he's still alive." The receiver in hand before he waved his other one, "No no, we'll need them taken by a third party, I'm sure the lawyers will be able to…" his head bounced again in all directions, "Private Eyes too," he looked at AJ, "I'll need as detailed account as you can give me as to where you've been to speed up the process."

"The process of what?" AJ once more asked in confusion.

His eyes looked warily for a moment as he realized he was about to remove the element of surprise, "Why getting you declared alive again," he suddenly responded much more relaxed and trying to feign true concern. _Not that he wasn't… _

"Don't suppose we can skip that?" AJ asked dishearteningly as he realized he didn't get to run anymore.

"With that one having seen you," Ned asked with a scoff.

"Jason," Carly asked in a low voice, "why aren't you doing anything?"

"And what exactly would you like him to do?" Tracy said overhearing her niece-in-law. "From what I hear you're the one who started this whole mess," Tracy said moving in. "Slept with AJ, lied to him, drugged him," she took another step closer, _no one messed with her family, but her family. Alan's sons. _

"Oh no, don't try bring that up, that's ancient history," her eyes went wide, not comfortable with remembering that time in her life.

"Oh no," a small smile played on Tracy's lips as she decided she was close enough to the annoying money grubbing blonde that had annoyed her from day one. "That," she smiled brightly, "was the last time _you_ saw AJ." Her smile fell into a satisfied smirk, "_You_ married an imposter, slept with an imposter," she chuckled.

"Yea," Luke said with wide blue eyes, "way to be memorable there Junior."

"I was drunk," he defended automatically.

"Whisky dick," Luke shook his head and took a drink, "never had that problem."

AJ opened his mouth about to start to respond before shaking his head, _he had changed, he had changed, _he repeated it like a mantra.

"What the hell are they talking about Jason?" Carly's voice near screeched.

"They're saying you got what you wanted Carly," the wrong brother answered with a chuckle, "I left town and you never even noticed."

"What-" her mouth went wide as she decided he had to be drinking again.

"Shame," he nodded, "if you'd just noticed it wasn't me. You'd probably have gotten a very nice stipend from my trust, enough to buy you all those things you thought you needed to be happy and without me I'm sure you would have been ecstatic."

"Jason," Carly repeated with her nails digging into his bicep.

"I think he may be telling the truth Carly," his throat was nearly closed by this point.

"And what truth is that?" she asked in fear.

"He never even knew Michael was his son," were the stunned words that left his mouth.

"You lied to me," AJ said looking deep into Jason's eyes, the same shock still present from when he found out. Then he chuckled and corrected himself with the revelation it had taken him hours to realize last time, "No, you just didn't correct me."

"You-" Jason began. His words that night, AJ's. That attack. It had been reprehensible, disgusting, he hadn't known how anyone was capable of it. Then he watched it in every custody battle that had taken place since.

"I what Jason?" AJ asked with hurt eyes.

The storm brewing between the two boys was enough to strike fear into nearly all hearts, _they couldn't weather it again. _

"You're not doing this," Emily demanded as only she could. She walked to the place Edward had vacated between them, "Our father just died." Her eyes filled with tears as she said those four words. "We cannot go through this again," her voice was shaky remembering how it had torn her family apart before. She looked at Jason, "AJ while being kind of a…jerk at times," she turned to her other brother, "no offense."

He shook his head, _a jerk was almost a nice thing to be called in this family. _

"Obviously only reacted that way because he didn't know how to cope with what had happened to you," she tried to gently explain with a hand wave. "And you," she turned to AJ with a firmer voice, "Don't start with him because he isn't the Jason that you remember, that you love, you made him like that," her words grew firmer as she tossed a finger back to point at Jason, "deal with it."

"She makes a valid point," Ned said taking the entire show in with a slight sense of amusement, the amusement that could only come with relief.

Emily frowned at her cousin getting involved. "AJ told off Carly," she shot at Jason, "big whoop." Her head cocked once as she spun to AJ, "He didn't tell you the truth because were behaving like a big baby…Are you that surprised?"

He wanted to point out the fact again that SHE HAD DRUGGED HIM, but decided to remain quiet.

"Now I think we can all agree that we've put up with a lot worse in this family, so maybe we could just move past and be grateful."

"What are we being grateful for?" Luke asked leaning down to his wife.

Emily's eyes grew large and she spun to Luke and fumed, "That we still have each other."

"Oh aren't we lucky," Luke muttered.

"That AJ ISN'T a psychopath," Ned said raising the drink that he had just poured.

"Oh let's give him time on that," Tracy said moving towards her son, "boy's been gone for ten years and he wasn't too sane to begin with. Pour me one," she nodded as she stood next to Ned.

"He was sane enough to leave this family," Monica dryly concluded.

-x-x-X-x-x-

He felt as if he'd been hit with a ton of bricks.

His mother looked like she'd been his with a sledgehammer though as she'd made a poor excuse of going to check in with Cook on what was being served for lunch after making a motherly attempt at finding out what he liked only to be rejected with an remark of, 'Anything's good.'

He was still the bastard son. He had caused more pain than any type of joy or relief he brought. He hadn't meant to, _the old hurts though. _

At least with Carly dragged out into the foyer by Jason he had a chance of keeping himself in control. _That still hurt_. He had thought she was his friend. He had thought she had known him. Maybe not enough to trust him with Michael, but enough to know when it wasn't him.

His eyes closed.

"You look like you need this more than me," Ned tested joining his cousin on the couch as he offered the scotch he'd poured.

"As tempting as that is," his eyes quickly regarded and then rejected the glass, "I've been sober too long to fuck it up."

"How long?"

"A long time," he promised.

"Since you left here?"

He nodded.

"I feel you," he nodded and took a sip of it himself, "I left awhile ago myself. Spend more time with Brooke even though she's grown up now and doesn't need or want a father."

AJ smiled, "Brooke Lynne, how is she?"

"Dating," Ned grimaced and nodded.

"Lois?" AJ smiled further, "She still as Lois as I remember?"

"Not quite," Ned tenderly smiled. "She's been a mother and a Quartermaine; I don't know what changes you more."

"I'm pretty sure we know which one is for the better though," he lifted the glass of water he'd poured and then forgotten about just before sitting.

Ned tapped it with his own with a smile, "I'm glad you're not dead Junior."

"That surprises me," he honestly admitted.

"Surprises me too a bit. You always had to screw things up AJ, granted our family certainly helps, but you had a talent for it all on your own."

"I seemed to have two options," he nodded, "screw things up on my own or watch things I worked hard for crash and burn. You're a little more proactive if you do it yourself," he sarcastically replied.

"If that's what you need to tell yourself," Ned took another sip.

"I can't be AJ Quartermaine," he spoke the long known realization that had somehow managed to slide out of his thoughts since his father's death.

"Yea," Ned laughed, "like Emily said he's kind of a jerk."

AJ chuckled, "Nice to know you guys didn't screw Emily up too bad."

"All Grandmother's doing," Ned promised.

A few moments passed in silence as they listened to Tracy finally succeed in kicking Skye out, Edward berating his lawyers for not having fast enough answers and Emily whispering into a phone.

"What are your plans?" Ned finally asked.

"Honestly, I think I thought I'd be dead by now."

"Yea I would have expected Jason to shoot first ask questions later….Or actually be questioned later."

AJ shook his head, "Bury my father, repeatedly apologize to my mother for my earlier failed apology."

"She's fine AJ. You're alive. You're okay. You may actually be a decent person when you're not near us. She couldn't ask for more."

AJ laughed and shook his head, "I should have been able to do that here."

"You accepted when you couldn't and did something about it, granted maybe it wasn't exactly the right way to do it, but still I think that says a lot about who you really are."

His head shook.

"So no plans?"

His head shook, "Probably back to Sudan."

"What about Michael?"

"What about him?"

"He's your son."

"No he isn't," AJ's head shook, "he's Sonny's. He just has my blood. Tainted as it is."

"You aren't curious about him?"

"He's better off not knowing me," he nodded. "Jason knew that before he was even born." He turned to Ned, "You really thought I'd kill Jason?"

"You changed, or that Dan character changed."

"But that was me. You thought **I** would willingly hurt Jason."

"Hard to remember the guy you were back then. You were always kind of pathetic, like a puppy that had been kicked too many times and learned to bite just to get attention."

"Are you trying to see how long it'll take me to reach for that glass?"

"Pretty amazed you haven't dived for the whole decanter yet Junior."

He laughed and took a swallow of his water.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Where do you think you're going?" Carly asked walking down the hall as he left the room.

"Why are you carrying a frying pan?" he asked with narrowed eyes as he noticed the object in her hand.

"Jason wouldn't give me his gun," she nodded. "Now answer my question."

"Upstairs, aspirin, shower, shave, change of clothes. That order, can I go now?"

"I am not staying in the bathroom with you while you take a shower," her head shook.

"I never asked you to."

"You think I'm just going to leave you alone so you can run off with my son again? These idiots might have fallen for that routine, but I'm not about to."

"You do whatever you need to," AJ said picking up his bag deciding to ignore her and not ask what had happened to his brother, he had no right, he had to remember that.

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Wait outside," he ordered as he reached the bathroom door that he had shared with Jason as a child.

"I don't think so," she said following him in.

"Fine Carly, you want to watch me drop trou again, you just had to ask."

"Oh, no, don't you dare think I want to do this, but I promised Jason I would not bash you over the head for anything less than a valid reason. And unfortunately he's decided you getting on my nerves isn't a valid reason."

"Whatever you need to tell yourself Carly," he said as he began to strip in front of her.

Cream colored sweater off, she noticed his tanned biceps…_Those had certainly grown. _

White tee-shirt followed. _He hadn't had a six pack like that in years._

He flipped the toilet seat down as he sat and she watched his arms flex as he went about removing his boots and socks.

His hand was already on his belt as he went to stand. It was quickly flipped open.

The buttons and zipper on his jeans soon followed and he was stepping out of them onto the cool tiled floor.

"Last chance," he offered as he stood before her in just the navy blue boxers.

"Do you have dogs on your underwear?"

He looked down before looking back up, "Hey they're new and they're clean, where I'm from that's a major accomplishment."

"Says the…what…almost 35 year old with puppies on his undies," she pouted at him in a childlike tone.

"Fine," his head shook, unwilling to be the one who caved in this standoff, his fingers hooked into the elastic band.

Her head cocked as she looked at him, proving she wasn't about to be called chicken either.

His head tilted in agreement as his fingers lifted away from him skin before sharply pulling down. "Happy?" he asked. When she didn't say anything he spoke again, "I hope you enjoyed your free show. I'm going to shower now."

It was nearly thirty seconds after he had closed the glass door and the water was beating down around him that it was flung open, "You're not AJ," its accusation was solid.

"Guessing he was a little more memorable?" he didn't bother to look at her because there had once been a guy within him that had cared and he wasn't about to let him be hurt again.

"Who-" she frowned as she looked down.

_So not the movement any guy ever wanted to see_, he thought with discomfort.

"You have the same birthmark?"

He nodded as he realized that, "It would have been a dead giveaway if he didn't have it."

The glass door slammed shut on him.

-x-x-X-x-x-

She was sitting on the toilet with his open duffle bag on her lap, frying pan discarded on the counter as she went through his things as he emerged from his shower.

She briefly glanced up to see the tightly secured green towel wrapped around his hips.

"There should be a brown toiletries case in there," he asked.

She pulled it out and handed it off.

"You're not going to say anything about me going through your stuff?" she asked viewing him suspiciously.

"There's nothing interesting to find…I figured it would keep you quiet for awhile," he shrugged.

She continued to look at him as he began to lather his face, "You're not him," she declared.

He didn't say anything, just washed off his hands.

"You can't be him," she confessed a moment later.

His hand stopped reaching for his razor and he turned to her.

Her eyes were wide, "That would mean that I let a monster into my son's lie. I let a complete stranger tear him out of the arms of the only father he'd known."

"I'm sorry," it was his turn to confess, "if I had known I would have never left." He chuckled, "I doubt that's what you would have wanted though."

"You threatened to take my child away from me," she steadfastly reminded him.

He dropped the razor into the sink after only one swipe, "And what do you think you did? You lied to me, then you drugged me, then you lied to me again. Who gave you that right?"

"Michael deserved better than you," her head shook.

"A psychopath who tried to destroy me? A mob lord? Oh wait, no, that's right originally he was supposed to go to the man who ended up kidnapping him. Remind me again how many times he's been kidnapped and then explain to me why you were supposed to be the better parent."

She didn't answer him and he shook off the wet razor violently before going back to his task. Half a clean face later she spoke, "I won't let you destroy his life."

He turned for that, not fully grasping what she was talking about.

"Michael is happy. He has two parents who love him more than life itself, a little brother and a little sister, grandparents who adore him…"

His head shook looking at her, "And what do you think I'd do?"

She mocked disbelief, "Uh, I don't know. Take him?!"

His head shook and he rinsed off his blade before lifting it back up, "I've known for almost a year, if I was going to, I would have done it then."

"Oh please," she scoffed, "even if I'm going to believe you only found out a year ago, what makes me think you're not going to go after him since you were so eager to before he was born? And who knows what Alan's will might say or hell, just let Edward use your name in this fight and I'm sure he'll replenish the coffers this freak drained."

He turned to her finally and just looked at her, had it been this easy for a stranger to slip into his place as it was for him to slip back. Seven years with the stranger had been longer than they had ever spent with him and yet… "Why do you believe me?" he found himself asking.

She stopped the catty remark she'd been about to shoot off and suddenly saw the man on the pier, defeated, alone… It unnerved her to remember him that way, to feel something besides disgust and anger. She shook it off, "Yea well considering my options," she remarked while standing, tossing his bag to the floor with disregard for his belongings.

He just looked at her.

She cocked her head when she looked back, "Alcoholic Mama's boy or nutjob that would make a little boy believe his parents didn't want him."

"He what?" Everything else was forgotten.

She flinched before speaking, almost as if she was being hit, "He told Michael that we didn't want him. We had Morgan, our real son."

"Fucking bastard," AJ winced.

"He's fine now though," Carly's mouth was held tight as she let out a short nod, "and he's going to stay fine. I will not let you-"

He stopped her before she could go on, "The only thing I ever wanted growing up was a family that loved and accepted me. Do you really think I would take that away from my own son?" He flinched, "Even if Sonny is his father. Jason'll," he nodded. "He always kept me safe, even from myself." His eyes focused on a small painting of a pond as his mouth was drawn in, "Even if he's not." His head dropped to look at her, "There are worse things than death."

"Okay well glad we cleared that up," she curtly nodded and he went back to shaving. Not that she truly believed it, but she didn't think she could talk about it anymore, at least not yet.

"AJ," his mother's frantic voice could be heard a few seconds later, his name was repeated before he could answer.

He went to open the door instead of replying, worried that something was wrong.

"Oh god AJ," she heaved as she stopped feet away.

"Mom, are you alright?" he asked walking out, still in just his towel.

"They said you were freshening up and you weren't in your bathroom," she answered clutching him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked with reassuring arms returning her embrace, "This is the-"

He felt his mother freeze.

"Oh," was all he said. She had gone to look in _his_ bathroom.

His mother's contrite confession was about to flood from her mouth, before her eyes turned icy, "What's she doing here?" she demanded seeing the blonde standing behind her son

* * *

**Still liking it? Thanks for reading!! **


	5. At Last, an Understanding

Very short new part at just over a thousand words, but I prefer it on its own rather than mixed with anything else. This is a very watched the Jason & Alan final scene one too many times, paired with one too many YouTube videos of Robin and Jason. I wanted to keep Jason's flow going from that moment, insightful, emotional…

Thanks for reading (Oh and yes 'An Unexpected Family' is going to be continued (after either this or Sanctuary is done), I'm glad you guys liked it and there should be a new chapter of 'Sanctuary' up this week).

* * *

**At Last, an Understanding **

"Uh Jason," Patrick tentatively spoke upon seeing the confused other man at Mac's door.

Robin sat a little straighter and then grimaced, glad Patrick hadn't been turned around to see the action.

"I uh, need to speak to Robin," Jason uncomfortably asked.

"Yea, she's right over here," Patrick stepped back and waved the other man on through.

Patrick's wide eyes while looking past the other man and towards Robin conveyed his expansive shock.

She gave him a pleading look to be nice.

"I'm just going to go start lunch," he quickly excused himself out of the room. "Don't let her move or do anything more strenuous than breathe."

Jason nodded.

"Jason," her voice soft and tentative questioned as he continued to stand in her uncle's living room not speaking.

She'd tried to save his life holding a pillow over his wound not far from where he was standing.

She wondered sometimes if he even remembered the life they'd once shared together. Remembered how happy they'd been. Remembered impulsively dancing, remembered splashing at the beach, throwing seaweed...

Remembered everything they'd been before a few short words had changed it all.

He turned back to her and swallowed hard, tears glistening in his eyes. "I didn't understand," he swallowed hard again. "You kept trying to explain it to me, but I didn't understand." He hit his head in a rash moment of frustration; he had long since learned to deal with.

"What happened?" she tried to sit forward, but flinched again.

His hands raised up to his eyes and they closed as he pressed against his brow bone.

"Jason," she tentatively asked a moment later.

"I just couldn't understand," his hand tore down and he quickly pivoted on one foot and started to walk.

"What couldn't you understand Jason?"

"They just wanted me."

"Your family," she questioned, despite being sure that was the answer.

"I thought because I wasn't him that I wasn't their family," his voice was raspy.

She braced a hand on the arm rest as she tried to turn to look at him, but once more found her motions limited.

"I just," his head shook and he began to walk again, towards her.

"I was too late," he choked out.

"Alan knew you loved him Jason that you cared. You never stopped being his son," she promised.

"He just wanted me to come back," his head sharply dropped. "I failed him."

"No you didn't," she promised.

"When Spinelli told me…I tried to get back there as fast as I could," his head shook. "He died thinking…" his eyes were sheets of glass, "I should have listened to you. You kept trying to tell me."

"He knew Jason," she once more promised.

His head shook, "AJ-" his throat closed again.

Robin was unprepared for that and froze.

"He needed me," he understood that now, after Alan and seeing him, he understood.

She held her breath.

"And I…" his head shook, "I couldn't stand him."

"He loved you Jason," she whispered, not knowing who the two men had become, but knowing who the two men once were.

"I failed them," his eyes closed letting out streams of tears and sat down on the coffee table in front of her defeated.

"No you didn't," she leaned forward despite the pain to touch his knees with her hands.

"I don't know what happened to AJ Jason, but Alan loved you."

He let out a bitter laugh and opened his eyes to her, "He wasn't AJ."

"That's a good way to look at it," she noddingly agreed, amazed by the transformation in Jason with just those few words.

"No," his mouth tightened, "he wasn't AJ. AJ's back. The person you told wasn't AJ and I never realized. I should have realized as much as I couldn't stand him, I should have…"

"What?" her head shook.

"The way he looks at me, it's him. Because he loved them…" he repeated the words she'd told him many times, "He died trying to save AJ and I…"

"Jason," her head shook, "what are you talking about?"

"He was the one person…If I was going to respect Jason Quartermaine, he's the one person I should have taken care of, he gave up his life trying to take care of him and because I didn't," he looked at Robin with pained eyes.

"AJ?" she questioned.

"I was so angry, I was so disgusted by him," his head shook, "I didn't realize when he stopped being him. How could I have not seen that?"

Her head shook again, "AJ's alive?"

"You never told him," was all he could say.

"No, I," her head shook.

"He left town right after Michael's christening."

"Who…" her eyes were wide with shock.

"Someone named Daniel," Jason's head shook.

Robin made a face and leaned back.

"Why does that name sound familiar?"

"Apparently he worked at the hotel with AJ."

"Danny," her head titled to the side, "tall, brown hair?"

"I'd assume so."

"You hated him," her eyes went to a far off place as she remembered, "you thought he was a bad influence on AJ, no friend would help him drink." She suddenly looked at the large eyes studying her before she amended, "Jason Quartermaine," she nodded. Suddenly new tears welled up in her eyes and she looked over in wonder to Jason, "AJ's alive," she unexpectedly smiled. She let out a short laugh, "Oh god Jason, AJ's…" her head shook and she covered her mouth. "Wait no," her head violently shook, "AJ would have never handed his life over to someone else. He wouldn't have done that to your mom or Lila, especially not Emily, not then…" her hope was suddenly dashed.

She was right, he knew that, especially now. "Luckily for AJ, I don't think he could stand being around me anymore, otherwise he'd probably be dead."

"God Jason, your father…" her head shook. "Alan would have given anything to bring AJ back."

"And he did, his life," Jason nodded. "He only came back because Alan died."

"How could…" her head shook.

"I handed Michael over to a stranger," his throat closed up again.

"No," her head shook, "I did."

* * *

Oh and before any Robin/Jason haters start bashing. This isn't them getting together or anything like that, it was healing friendship that began their relationship. Saving each other, being there for each other, teaching… Everything going on in Jason's life right now is bringing him right back to the person he had been while he was still learning how to be someone, what it meant to be someone. No one could understand what's going on right now aside from her, others could try (Carly/Sam/Liz), but they weren't there. 

So now you may bash away. :-P

**Once more thanks for reading!**


	6. Hide and Seek

Okay last chapter was DEFINITELY not as liked as well, I liked it. :-P Gotta admit the slow hits/reviews totally saddened me. Along with The Path to… Not being as liked as I wanted it to be. Ugh and don't even get me started on GH. :-P Well that explains part of my slowness in updated (which was followed by super busy RL time).

I've included a little Jessica scene at the very end of this because people were curious about her. It's completely separate from this story though (and really doesn't go with the tones/theme of the story set in chapter 1, which you'll see make a return appearance at the end), so just read it as something COMPLETELY separate from To Come Back. I have another one written for the next chapter as well, if you like this one (or I'll just scrap them if you don't).

Thanks for reading guys!

* * *

**Hide and Seek**

He was hiding. Not surprising since he had just spent ten years running.

Maybe hiding was what he had always done, behind the bravado, behind the booze…It had been a long trip back; it had left him plenty of time to think about, to reevaluate the things he normally ignored. His past…

In Jason's room, after a near catfight between his mother and Carly, a half-eaten lunch in the guest room alone with only a few photo albums Emily had left him that he hadn't been able to stomach for long, much like his meal, being poked, swabbed and pulled at by the lab tech the lawyers had sent. In Jason's room, he had nothing but time and memories. _The last cd Jason had listened to. _It was cracked from the near demolishment the room had suffered through as its resident, who always put clothing in the hamper, towels on the rod, garbage in the bin, returned glasses and late night snacks to the kitchen…As he undid all of that. Books and cds that had been meticulously arranged, school notebooks since high school within easy reach for future reference…Those same hands that hand lovingly cared for it had nearly destroyed it.

He could see Jason now, just as he could always see him. His personality so ingrained, it left little room for surprise after over 20 years together. It had grown harsher over the years, the wisdom more blunt, words urging quicker action, less compassion; it had grown, changed as Jason had never been given the opportunity to.

He could hear the wheels on the desk chair sliding across the floor as feet pulled it along. His head dropped to the side to see his brother, suddenly aged looking at him. 'What are you doing?'

"Losing my mind," he muttered.

'Hate to break it to you, you lost that awhile ago,' his brother chuckled.

"The day you died," he whispered.

'It was gone long before then,' Jason once more laughed, 'remember jumping off that cliff by Josie's house?'

_Josie_, they had gone to her house during spring vacation when they were 14 and 15. Their parents were fighting as always had told them, 'We just don't think it's a good time for you boys to come to Port Charles.' It had never been a good time to come home. Maybe it had been reckless; maybe he'd been asking to be hurt as he took that jump off a cliff into what he knew now to be a near puddle of water. _Who cared though… _Story of his life.

'Dad just died and you're sitting up here feeling sorry for yourself?'

"Dad," the word left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Dad didn't know that I was gone, he loved a new son, a psychopath more than me."

'He never knew who we were,' Jason leaned back in the chair, a pained expression on his face now as well. 'He knew who he expected us to be, wanted us to be.'

"Good son, bad son," then suddenly the pain rose in his throat. "God Jason," the tears welled up, "why'd you have to get into that car?"

'I couldn't let you hurt yourself,' his brother simply explained as he had many times before, when his brother's unconscious would be crying out for comfort, crying out for his family, crying to just remember, be close to his brother once more.

"You got into the car with a drunk driver, you got into a car without your seatbelt…You were smarter than that."

'I thought I could stop you, you're my brother AJ; I couldn't let you hurt yourself.'

He chuckled bitterly.

Jason let out a light laugh, 'Though in my defense if I'd known you were going to put us into a tree.'

"It's not fair, he's gone and you're gone…"

'And you're talking to yourself?'

"And I can't do anything to change it. I tried Jason. I tried to forget. I tried to just live my life. But…"

'At the end of the day you're still AJ Quartermaine?'

"At the end of the day you're still gone and there's nothing I can do to fix that," he finally flung himself off the bed and went to go look out the window.

'I'm still here. I've been having a life without you. Marriages, divorces or actually a divorce and an annulment,' Jason corrected himself.

"Proves it's not you," AJ responded with a smirk. "You'd never allow your marriage to hit the point of divorce. You never give up."

'Sometimes the best thing you can do is give up. Walk away. And you're still just jealous that I married Brenda, I slept with Brenda.'

"It was annulled," AJ pointed out.

'If I married Brenda and didn't sleep with her…I mean its Brenda.' 

AJ laughed.

'You should find out.'

"You should have gotten to experience it," he responded with remorse and moved to sit back down on the bed.

-x-X-x-

"Hey AJ?" Emily smiled walking towards her brother half asleep on the bed.

His lids blinked uncertainly, "Oh, hey," he answered with a shake of his head as he pushed himself up and then frowned at her. "Aren't you a little old for dolls?" he asked as he noticed she was carrying one.

She chuckled and the doll moved, "This is Spencer," she turned the baby in her arms, half asleep as he'd just been as she sat down in the chair close by where AJ had been sleeping, that their mother had sat in minutes earlier as he was unaware. "He's Nikolas's son, I asked him to bring him by."

He's eyes flipped between the baby's face and his sister's suddenly maternal one.

"We don't exactly have a clearly defined relationship at the moment, but I'm hoping one day he'll call you Uncle."

Pain tore through him quickly and he looked up at his sister with pained eyes, "Em, I…"

"You're not gonna stay," she quickly said with the instantly heartbroken expression of a teenager.

"It's better this-" he tried to explain.

"No," her head shook and she violently stood. "Don't. It's easier for you. To pretend that we never existed, that you never existed. That Jason…

You know you bailed on him too. You didn't just leave us. You left Jason. Do you have any idea how many times he almost died? Were you there when his wife lost their baby and their marriage fell apart? When Sam lost their little girl just weeks before she was supposed to be born? When Sam was shot and nearly died? Jason risked everything to make sure she got the surgery he KNEW she needed. I had cancer AJ! I was raped!" she hadn't meant to say that, but she did. "And Dad DIED. And where were you?"

He was stunned and nauseous.

The baby started to cry because the loud noises and sudden movements.

"Oh god Spencer, I'm so sorry," she kissed the top of his head. She looked at AJ, who was still staring at her with an open mouth, unable to completely process what she had just said. "Come on, let's go find Daddy." She turned back to her brother as she reached the door, "I get why you left AJ," she nodded, "I really do." She glanced around the room, "Sometimes I feel like I can barely remember that Jason, I'm so used to the brother I have now, but you…" She nodded again, "I understand why you had to leave. But we need you now AJ. Mom," another shake, "Mom won't be able to take it if she loses you again. And," she looked down at the baby, "you have a life here. As much as you don't want it. Mother, grandfather, aunt, siblings, cousins," she looked a little sharper at him, "Justus is dead. He was murdered," was the last thing she said before she left the room.

-x-X-x-

"Where do you think Emily was storming off to?" Lulu asked in hushed tones.

"I don't know, but be glad she didn't see us, if anyone realizes I let you out of your-" Dillon said, back to leading them through the halls after a quick duck into his room trying to get to hers.

AJ's eyes widened as he nearly collided with the two teenagers sneaking past his brother's door, a moment of confusion despite having seen their pictures, but it was nothing in comparison to theirs. Their eyes widened to the point of nearly bugging out, their mouths dropped enough to let in a whole family of flies, and panic ruled their faces.

"AJ, oh god AJ," Dillon automatically positioned himself in front of Lulu, he'd known before this that sneaking her out of her house was a bad idea. First he'd get yelled at for moving her and allowing her to move, then she'd be sentenced to her room at the mansion in order to keep a closer eye on her and he wouldn't wish convalescing with the Q's on anyone.

His hand flung out, looking for something to grab, but finding nothing as he heard Lulu's low whisper of, "Shit," and he felt the press of cold pink steel coming in contact with his hand as she willingly gave over a crutch to protect them.

"Stay back man," Dillon ordered brandishing the weapon.

AJ chuckled, not surprised by the reaction, just the weapon. "If you're trying to avoid your parents I'd keep your voices down," he smirked. "Nice crutch," he nodded.

"Lulu, go get your dad," Dillon firmly ordered.

"Uh," she began.

AJ smiled.

Dillon briefly glimpsed back, then cursed himself realizing that action left them vulnerable, but his cousin made no attempt at an attack.

"If you want," the amusement clearly evident on AJ's face, having last seen Dillon as a baby, he hadn't expected the next time he saw him, he'd be brandishing a pink crutch, "Carly left a frying pan in the bathroom, I could go get you that and you can give Lulu back her crutch, so she can go get Luke."

"Don't…Don't get smart with me," _Dammit he sounded like Grandfather, _"I can very easily knock you out with this…" he waved it and realized just how light it was.

"Hollow, aluminum crutch?"

"What are you doing up?" Tracy's shrill voice greeted them, she stormed towards them as Dillon's eyes grew even wider. "And what are you doing with her crutch?"

"Mom-" he tried to interject as his mother yanked it out of his hand and handed it back to Lulu.

"And we've instituted a strict, 'No murdering your family' policy and that includes attempts."

"But Mom"/"Tracy."

"That applies to you too young lady," her head shook.

"But AJ?" Dillon once more tried.

"Luckily for him, it's not retroactive."

"As fun as this is, I'm going back to my room," the subject nodded.

"Mom, you can't just-"

"I can't what ground you? Guess what I can. Neither of you are leaving this house for the rest of the day. And Lulu before you start, we'll discuss. **Discuss**, you possibly returning to your grandmother's tomorrow, after you've rested that leg."

"But Tracy I-"

"I don't care," her head shook, "and your father will agree with me, so don't even bother trying the puppy dog eyes with him."

-x-X-x-

"Don't you think you've done that for long enough?"

AJ looked over from the window he was staring out of. "Sorry?"

"Feeling sorry for yourself," Edward's head gruffly nodded as he walked into the room.

"My father just died," he responded curtly.

"And if I believed that was the reason for a second, I'd let it pass. This is the same 'Woe is me, AJ' as always."

He didn't say anything.

"See," Edward waggled his finger, "this is the same, 'my daddy never loved me' that we always…" Then Edward paused, "This is Jason," awareness dawned in his eyes, "they mentioned you were in his room."

"Is that suddenly a crime?"

"No but what you-"

"What I did to him is," AJ cut him off, "I know."

"It's time to let it go," Edward's voice suddenly softened.

AJ turned in disbelief, "I killed the golden boy and you're telling me to let it go? You of all people?"

His eyes filled with sorrow, "It's not what your father would want or your brother."

"Yea well neither of them are here to say that and you never were exceptionally trustworthy."

"I'm still your grandfather and it's my job now that your father's-" pain suddenly flashed through Edward's eyes.

It made him uncomfortable; he wasn't used to not knowing what to do. Jay Kiernan, could always act, he saw something wrong and he did his best to fix it, he might later realize there had better way, but he was always acted. AJ Quartermaine didn't know how to do that. He floundered, wondered if he should apologize, offer condolences, sympathy, but in the end he did nothing but wait for the old man to begin again.

"You were his greatest regret," Edward spoke matter of factly.

"I noticed," was AJ wry remark.

"No," his head shook, "that was his greatest regret. How he treated you all those years. He did everything in his power to try to make it up, but…" Edward's head shook, "it wasn't even you."

"Do you want me to apologize for the fact that my own father didn't know the difference between his son and a stranger?" he hated this person, the person he was with them, he could hear his tone and words, yet he felt powerless to stop them.

"No, AJ," Edward answered firmly looking his grandson in the eye, "I want you to know he realized he hadn't been a father to you and he did everything he could to try to fix that. He was willing to sacrifice himself, our family for you."

The urge to run returned, stronger than the urge to hide. "I won't help you get Michael," he lashed out with.

That got the grandfather he was used to back, "Won't help me…" fury raged in his eyes, "that is YOUR son. Every second you allow him to stay with Corinthos is a step closer to the day we lose him and even if they somehow manage to keep him alive-"

"Daddy," Tracy ordered coming to the doorway.

"What?" he turned annoyed.

"We're under strict orders not to badger him," she reminded, her voice tinged with humor.

"Since when do you listen to Monica?"

"Well as she points out this is her house, thanks to my idiotic brother…" Pain flashed through her eyes; she blocked it out. "That woman's liable to lose it soon and if she ends up in Ferncliff, I'll be expected to visit and I have better things to do with my time."

He muttered incoherently under his breath.

"Mark Shue is here daddy," she informed him.

He turned and gave the evil eye to his wayward grandson, "The lawyer," he explained before turning back to his daughter, "maybe he'll be able to have them both committed, until we can get this custody issue under control."

-x-X-x-

"Oh man," Dillon let out a shaky breath, "you're not dead."

AJ barely turned to his cousin's words, instead just lifted an eye to view him as he sat in a plush chair reading a magazine. "Sorry to disappoint."

"No no," Dillon rushed into the room in an attempt to explain, "that's not what I meant. Hell I've never even met you, though you know trying to…" he stopped rambling as he realized AJ had put down the magazine as was looking dead at him. "You're not him, they've explained that. Apparently the last time I saw you, I was in diapers, which as you can imagine, I don't exactly have full recollection of."

"Is all of this going anywhere?" AJ dryly asked, he'd had quite enough of his family for the day.

"Sorry," Dillon looked annoyed with yourself, "it's not everyday you find out someone's been masquerading as your cousin for the majority of your life."

"Try having it happen to you," AJ simply offered.

"You didn't come back though," Dillon probed, "I mean you found out and you did nothing."

"He was already dead."

"And if he was dead that meant you were dead," he probed, as always looking for the answers.

AJ was startled by his younger cousin's frank and truthful statement, "Yea." He took a moment before deciding to further his statement, "Any other way of that happening and I probably would have been happy."

"I can understand that," Dillon nodded as he walked towards the chair opposite of AJ's and flopped into it. "This family," he shook his head further.

AJ's eyebrows lifted at his cousin's familiar attitude with him, ignoring the need to knock, be invited into the room or to take a seat.

"And I mean after Jason," Dillon shook his head again, "Em's been explaining it to me." He sat up a little straighter, "Well you know, not that I didn't know beforehand…"

AJ looked over with interest at that statement, "What were we Cain and Abel?"

Dillon shifted uncomfortably as he realized the position he'd put himself into. "Just that you just were close I guess until the accident and then…Arch enemies?"

He looked directly at his little cousin, "Jason will **never** be my enemy. I would **never**…" he stopped suddenly.

"Hurt him again?" Dillon offered.

AJ shook his head, "You know I don't really do this touchy feely family stuff. Did you come in here for a reason?"

"Oh yea sorry. Lulu and I were about to put in Superman. I suggested Richard Donner's classic Marlon Brando, Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve version, she voted for 'hot guy, tight suit,' her words," Dillon smiled. "We figured you could use a foray out of the real world as well."

AJ looked at him skeptically.

"No talking I promise," he swore with a wave of his hands as he bounced up. "Okay or maybe you answer Lulu's questions for the first five minutes, since she was almost killed a few days ago."

He continued to look skeptically at him.

"They most likely won't bother you if they see that you're occupied."

"Good point," he nodded and stood.

**-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x--x-X-x-X-x-X-x- **

**_Sidestory/Flashback/Moment in the Life of Jay Kiernan and Jessica Becker: _**

"I hate to break it to you AJ Quartermaine, but you're a good guy," Jessica teasingly smiled.

He laughed, "Jay Kiernan's a good guy, not AJ Quartermaine."

"Hate to break it to you, but they're the same person," she pushed the conversation further, as she frequently did.

"Trust me AJ Quartermaine could never be a good guy, there aren't enough years to swing that ratio in favor of good guy."

She laughed, "**A** quarter of a century versus the next three of them."

That made the bottom of his stomach drop out, the idea of surviving with it for that long…A water bottle full of vodka seemed like the better option.

She watched his face fall and hers responded in kind, she walked over to him, placing a hand on his cheek, "You're a good guy."

"No I'm not and there's no way I ever can be," he looked anguished by having to say that aloud.

"AJ a few wrong choices…" she sympathetically began.

"I killed my brother," his eyes instantly grew glassy, a weakness Jay Kiernan was allowed. "Anything else I could have done, I could have fixed. I **can't** fix that."

"But you could do better and you are. You help people. You help keep this place running; you're saving lives doesn't that-"

"Take a life? Save a life? It all evens out?" He stepped away from her as he violently shook his head, "No it doesn't. Jason was….Jason was better."

"His life was worth more than someone else's?" she mocked.

He turned seriously to her, "Yea." His head nodded again, "It was because he didn't think it was and most people do. He would have always sacrificed himself and what he would have brought to this world…He would have been great, he was great. And I…I turned him into someone that takes lives."

"AJ the type of-"

"No," his head shook, "they're still someone's father or brother or friend…Jason would have never…"

"**Jason** would have wanted you to move on. To be happy, be a better person."

"And I have," he sadly smiled at her, "I am happy," he stroked her cheek, "I am a better person. Jay Kiernan is someone Jason would have liked, respected. Someone I can be proud of being."

"You can be AJ and still be that person."

"No I can't," he cupped her cheek, "any chance AJ had of redemption died with his brother. From that moment on it was the noose around his neck. The one thing he couldn't escape and he was reminded of it every moment. I really thought I could do it for awhile, that I could be that person that he always wanted me to be, that I always wanted to be, but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough."

She sighed as she held his eyes.

"Don't ask me to be him."

"I want you to be happy with **your** life and not make-believe."

"Trust me," he smiled, "this is not make believe. I've had a lot of daydreams and fantasies in my life and this," he made a face, "is nowhere near any of them."

"Valid point," she smiled.

** -x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x--x-X-x-X-x-X-x- **


	7. To Be Alright

**AN:** Hmm, don't know what to say before this chapter. Rambled enough I think in my other updates. Thanks for reading!

_PS-_ Put another one of those Jay/Jessica moments at the bottom, I don't know if it was good or not in the last chapter, but I had it written. :-P Feel free to skip over it. And I'm sure I didn't provide the right connotation for Jason's mood in this piece, think VERY Jason's 'talk' with Alan when you read it. It should be very similar in tone and feeling.

* * *

**To Be Alright**

He wondered what this was…This archaic act. Primping his father and laying him out for all the world to see. Maybe he would have understood it a hundred years ago, but they had the medical technology to prove his father was dead. No bells would ring in the wind, signaling they were wrong.

_He_was older.Not like Jason. Not in a good way.

He didn't swallow hard like he wanted to, despite the fact that he was alone, left by Ned and Emily to 'say goodbye.'

"They think I need closure," he informed his father, though now looking at the silk lined coffin instead of directly down. "As if you can ever get closure over anything in your life. You never really get over anything; you never move past…It's always there no matter how much you don't want it to be."

He looked down briefly before quickly looking back up, "I don't know what they want me to say. I'm sorry you're dead, I'm sorry everyone's hurting, I'm sorry I'm making it worse." He chuckled, "Em keeps swearing that's not true, I know what you would be saying if you were here, 'Look at what you did now AJ. Of all the selfish, bone-head things to do…' and I did it," he reprimanded himself. He focused on an arrangement of flowers, "I hurt my son, Jason, Emily..Ma…" he stopped, he couldn't say, 'Mom.' "All to save myself. Seems right up my alley."

His head shook again and walked away, "I remember this fish, you and mom got us, third grade, 'Spot,' 'cause he had a black circle around his eye. Only pet I ever really had. You'd promised to get us a dog for years, next summer, next Christmas and you got us a fish instead." He chuckled. "We begged you to buy us a puppy and you let us pick out a fish. You swore that if we could keep it alive the whole summer then we'd get a dog for Christmas." He laughed sadly, "And we believed you because you were our dad. Jase and I would fight over feeding him, we used to make faces into his tank…We loved that damn fish. It was ours, it was permanent and then we had to go back to school. You swore you'd take care of him. You always said he was fine on the phone. We didn't even come home that Christmas, you and mom were separated, so there was no dog and by the time we finally came home there was a fish with a black spot on his tail, not his eye. That fish was the only pet I've ever had. How sad is that? A goldfish named Spot for three weeks one summer."

His head shook and he spun back, "But you know what's even more pathetic? That we believed you. We never stopped believing in you. You were supposed to be **our** dad. **My **dad. And here I am, yelling at your dead body." He laughed bitterly over that fact. "And I hate you for that," shock and outrage filled his low voice. "How fuckin' dare you? How could you make me hate you? You were my dad. I was supposed to get to love you. You were supposed to love me. Protect me, not stand to the side and wait for me to fail. Not love everyone else more than me. Everyone! And the worst part is. It was me. It wasn't the concept of me, it wasn't Mom's affair. It was me. I was just a kid though. I don't know what I could have done to make you hate me so much. You loved _him_ more than me. You were able to love and protect someone that hurt everyone on purpose, he went after **Jason** and you still loved him. And I fucking hate you for that. I **was** your son. Didn't you ever get that?"

He walked away, "Closure." The word was indeed laughable. "I can't forgive you. I can't move past and that makes me hate you even more and it adds another thing to my list about why I can't stand being AJ Quartermaine." He turned back and gave a bitter chuckle, "Alan Edward Quartermaine Junior, your namesake." Another bitter laugh, "Ever wonder if you hated me so much because you hated yourself? A lot of people used to tell me that. Or the, 'he doesn't know better, it's how Edward treated him,' Mom and Jason used to tell me that, I think even Grandmother a time or two. I'd never," he forcibly said as he strode toward the coffin, "treat any child, let alone my own the way you treated me." _He was already better, walking away from Michael, never subjecting the boy to him. _

"You should have just given me away, taken me away from Mom like they did Dawn, told her I was dead. Given me to someone who would have wanted me. You could have just had Jason then," he said sitting down, "no one to interfere with your golden boy." _He would have given up those years with his brother to save him. _He couldn't think of Jason now, "Dawn had a happy family didn't she? She was happy right up until she came here. Got involved with this family. Probably would have had kids in high school by now, thinking about college…Her death," _her murder, _"ranked just slight above Spot's in mentioning," his hand lifted, to show just how little the bar had been raised with her death.

He sat back in the chair, his legs outstretched staring blankly at his father, "I can't forgive you, I can't forgive myself." A bitter chuckle, "I'm fucked, just like always."

He stared a moment longer and his eyes turned glassy again, "I wish I could though."

The door opened and AJ startled into a standing position, wiping the tears out of his eyes in a fluid motion at the same time, before turning to face the door. Seeing Jason in the doorway, dressed fully in a black suit, shirt and tie, looking stunned at seeing only AJ.

"Emily," Jason began, "said she'd be here."

"She's off with Ned," AJ acknowledged, "she decided I needed closure." He smiled brightly trying to play it off, "She do a psych rotation recently?"

Jason's expression didn't change, but AJ's did, it fell slightly as he tried to maintain his façade.

"That she wanted me to-" he began to explain.

"I got it," Jason bluntly told his brother.

AJ just nodded and turned away.

Jason hesitated before sharing, "I talked to him." AJ turned back, "I didn't make it back in time. I shouldn't have left. By the time I got back. He was gone."

"What'd you tell him?" the words effortlessly slid out of AJ's lips.

"That he was my father," Jason briskly nodded, still not able to deal with it.

AJ let out an airy laugh with little sound, "Figures you tell him the one thing he'd want to hear. I tell him I hate his guts."

"But I didn't get to tell him."

AJ looked at his brother, his voice fracturing slightly with those words.

"I _had_ to kill the man who had hurt so many. My father was dying, but I _had _to go. He was the one to tell me I was wasting time. I let him go, but I was too late."

"He knew Jase," the name slipped out of his lips. The four letters connoting a lifetime of familiarity that didn't exist. He realized the other man was still staring at him, waiting for more. "He loved you, that never changed, that would never change, he always believed in you." It was something he wouldn't have doubted, even if everyone hadn't told him yesterday.

"But he-"

"Jason," Emily huffed as she flung open the door and both brothers turned to her in shock. "I just saw your SUV. Ned and I went for a walk."

"Did you run back?" AJ asked.

"What?" Her eyes widened in shock and they looked away frantically darting everywhere but at either of her brothers. "No," a short laugh, "of course not."

"Where's Ned?" Jason observed.

"Right behind her, no idea she could move so fast in heels," Ned huffed. "I need to start going to the gym again."

"What did you think we were-" AJ was beginning to ask, after all they were in a funeral home with their father's body, hardly the place to enact WW3.

"Is something going here I should be aware of?" they all turned to face Monica.

"Nope," Em's head quickly bobbed, "we're all good. Right guys?" she turned to them in desperation.

The three men all turned to her with disbelief.

"Oh well, aside from," Emily said with a scrunched face, 'all good' their father, Ned's uncle were dead. _Yea they were just peachy. _

"It's okay Emily," her mother offered. She understood how strenuous this situation was for all of them. _Alan was…_ She flinched seeing the coffin. But then a few feet away was her oldest boy, then several feet closer to her, her youngest boy and next to him, her youngest. _She had so much to still be thankful for. _

-x-X-x-

He wasn't sure who was more on display, himself or his father. It was a private service at the moment, a public one to be held the following day. He was surrounded mostly by people he knew; had known both him and the imposter and now were cautiously judging him.

So he had taken the only sensible route since it was pretty clear he wasn't supposed to leave the room aside from the occasional bathroom or water breaks which just drew more attention to him. A seat in the far left corner of the room.

A few came over to him, told him how sorry they were about his father, how glad they were to see him _again. _Mostly though they left him alone aside from the looks, it had helped that Dillon and Lulu had barricaded the seats around him for the first hour, but they had gone out for air fifteen minutes ago and he was beginning to think they made a run for it or a run and a hobble.

Robin kept looking back from her wheelchair, a sad sweet smile at first and then concern every other time. _She would always be a softie. _Jason was a fool.

There was another person that kept looking back at him, that he had to keep his eyes diverted away from. A little redheaded boy, led in with a firm hand on his shoulder by his mother, cushioned in-between her and his grandmother.

He was more than a little shocked when that little boy suddenly appeared next to him as he was busy trying to figure out how Maxie Jones had grown up to be a little pixie bombshell, looking just as anxious to get out of here as he was.

His eyes just went wide and he found himself speechless.

"You're not him," Michael bluntly declared.

"Huh?" _Oh great AJ. First words to your son that he'll be able to remember and it was 'huh?'_

"AJ Quartermaine, you're not him," he reiterated.

He just looked at the strong, determined face, blue eyes not at all wavering, "That's probably the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

"He was a jerk," the horrific consequences of one man's actions, so understated by a child's words.

"I've heard," he nodded, "just so we're clear though you're aware he-"

"Wasn't really AJ," Michael finished for him.

AJ nodded.

"My mom told me."

"Good," he nodded again and turned away from his son, not being able to look at him and not want him, just like he couldn't when he was a baby, "no one should think they're spawned from a psychopath. Of course the Quartermaines aren't exactly sane, but you're a few generations removed from true psychosis," he dropped his head back down with a smile to his boy…_not his boy. _

He chuckled, "Have you met my mom?"

AJ face instantly brightened.

"I'm sorry about your dad," Michael suddenly offered.

"Thanks," he nodded.

"Grandpa Alan was always nice."

_That unnerved him. _

"I didn't really see him too often, but when I did, he was always really nice."

"That's good," he nodded. _What was he supposed to say to that? _"Does your mom know you're over here?" he asked a few seconds later.

"Yea," he nodded.

"She said it was okay?" AJ's eyes narrowed.

"She knew I'd do it anyway. According to Grandma Bobbie, she's learning to pick her battles."

"Ah," he nodded.

"She's distracted anyway, I think she and Jax are fighting."

"She and Jax…"

"They're engaged. They were supposed to be married by now, but I don't think that's gonna happen."

"Oh," he nodded. He certainly was informative, Carly used to be chatty. It could take ten minutes of butting in before you could make your point.

"It sucks he was supposed to take us to the Devil's game this week."

AJ waited for more of an explanation.

Michael's eyes widened and then rolled up in shock, "Port Charles Devils? The hockey team."

"Oh the local team," AJ nodded, small time stuff.

"Yea," Michael nodded, "they're supposed to be awesome, my friend, Tyler said he saw someone get checked right into the glass in front of him. There was blood and teeth everywhere."

AJ's eyes lifted in curiosity.

"Mom says Tyler exaggerates."

AJ just nodded for that. _He'd seen enough blood and tragedy to last a lifetime, a ten year old though…_

"Do you like hockey?"

"Yea," he nodded thinking about it, "I was never great playing, but it was fun. I caught a few Rangers games with friends."

"I've never been, it's why Jax was taking us, my dad isn't really a sports guy. Only now my mom and Jax are fighting."

AJ dropped his head to once again study his son, to try to figure out if what he was hearing was what his son was saying.

"I've been watching the Rangers and the Islanders and the…" he nodded, "it looks really cool. The game that Jax was going to get tickets for was on a Saturday night, so I wouldn't have school the next day." Blue eyes widened as he realized he wasn't exactly getting his point across, "Morgan really wants to go too."

"Michael I don't think your mother-"

"You said you like hockey. I like hockey. Morgan likes hockey. She already promised we could go."

"With Jax," AJ clarified.

"But Jax is mad at my mom."

"I'm sure Jax will still take you."

"No, he'll say next week. He's been gone for forever and he promised the first game back he'd go. I have the calendar hanging up in my room do you have any idea how many games I've already crossed out?"

"Michael," AJ tried to begin again, _she wouldn't let him…he was leaving…_"I'll talk to your mom. See what I can do," he nodded.

"Cool," he smiled and nodded. "I'm gonna go check on Jason, Mom says he's sad."

AJ nodded, "You do that."

-x-X-x-

"What were you talking to my son about?" Carly harshly demanded answers through a smile, failing to appear fine to the spectators, there was a fury in her eyes she couldn't hide.

"He wants me to take him and Morgan to a hockey game this Saturday."

"No way in hell," any attempt at a smile died.

"That's what I said you'd say," his head bobbed with being right.

"Damn straight I'd,-" she suddenly dropped her voice and replaced the smile as she realized people were blatantly watching them, "anyway Jax is taking them," she informed him sitting down.

AJ put a matching smile on his face as he realized Michael was suddenly watching, "He says you're fighting and doesn't think Jax is-"

"Then I'll take them," she cut them off.

"I think he wants to go with someone who knows the sport-"

Once more she cut him off, "Because you know hockey. You live in Africa," she stretched the final words out, hoping the simpleton would grasp them.

"All boys boarding school," he slowed his words just the same, "kindergarten through seventh grade."

"You're still not going near my boys," she quickly responded.

"So you're going to punish them because you can't keep a man?"

"That's not funny," her head shook, "you have no idea what these last few..." she glared at him, "Why am I even explaining this to you-"

"Because as Edward likes to point out, I didn't sign any papers?"

"Are you threatening me?"

_He hadn't meant to…_"Michael wants me to take him to a hockey game."

"You're blackmailing me," she looked appalled.

"You're more than welcome to come with us," he said realizing he had the upper hand.

"My lawyers are drawing up new papers, I expect you to follow your word from yesterday."

"I said I wouldn't take him away from you-"

"Yet you're blackmailing me," her eyes rolled up as her mouth opened at the irony.

"I won't sign anything that says I don't want to be his father, that I didn't want him."

Terror flooded her expression, "But you-"

"I won't take him from you, I'll sign whatever you want giving you full custody, but I won't sign him away."

"And you expect me to trust you that that won't change in a month, a year?"

"I don't expect you to ever trust me," he nodded and looked ahead, "he wants me to take him to a hockey game. I'm taking him to a hockey game."

"You better buy out the entire row because I'm coming and I'm bringing as many guards as Sonny can spare."

"He's looking at us, smile and stop looking so angry," AJ said through his smile.

She turned to her son and gave him a smile and laughed as he clutched his hands to her in a desperate prayer. She gave him a stifled nod.

"Thank you," AJ whispered as he nodded in agreement to their son, who was now looking desperately at him for confirmation.

"Don't make me regret this," she ordered him.

-x-X-x-

"Hey Emily," Michael said turning and tugging on his aunt's hand for attention.

"Yes Michael?" she smiled brightly ignoring her conversation with Nikolas.

"Me and Morgan are gonna go see the Devils this Saturday, Mom said yes."

"Wait your mom is going to a hockey game?" Nikolas asked before Emily could respond.

"No," Michael violently shook his head, "could you imagine my mom at a hockey game? AJ's going to take us."

"AJ?" Emily questioned.

"Yea, oh man it's going to be great. I bet he'll let us get nachos, popcorn, cotton candy, hot dogs, ice cream, soda," he responded with childish glee.

"Sounds like you're going to have quite the tummy ache," Nikolas smiled.

"Oh man it's going to be worth it, Jax and Mom only ever let us get one and even then we have to hear how bad it is for us."

Emily and Nikolas both laughed.

"I'm gonna go ask Grandma Bobbie for her cell phone, I gotta tell Morgan."

"Why don't you wait until you get home, surprise him," she smiled.

"Yea," Michael thoughtfully nodded, "I guess it would be more fun to see it than hear it. He tends to drop the phone."

"It'll certainly be easier on the phone this way," Nikolas laughed as Emily chuckled.

"Haha, yea," Michael nodded, "we've gone through a few."

"You know what," Emily sweetly smiled, "I bet my Mom and your Grandma Bobbie would love to know," she nodded over at the two women standing together.

"Yea," Michael once more nodded, "and I can find out if I can borrow Lucas's hat. You're supposed to wear something of the team's."

"Sounds like a plan," Nikolas nodded.

"Okay, I'm gonna go tell them," Michael said before taking off.

"Stop looking so pleased with yourself," Nikolas ordered moments later as the bright smile on Emily's face refused to be moved as she watched the two women animatedly chatting with their grandson.

"We're going to be okay," she said as her eyes instantly went glassy.

"Oh hey Em," he turned her to him, cupping her face.

"No it's okay," she nodded and covered one of his hands with her own, "we're going to be okay. We have Spencer back. My brothers, my nephew, my mother, grandfather, cousins, even Tracy." She nodded again, "We're going to be okay."

"You are," he promised her.

She raised her other hand to join his.

**-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x--x-X-x-X-x-X-x-**

**_Sidestory/Flashback/Moment in the Life of Jay Kiernan and Jessica Becker:_**

Part of him liked to pretend. Pretend of what his life would have been like if he had met Jessie when she had still been in Port Charles.

He liked to think that _she_ had been the one to change him. That if he'd only met her sooner, it all would have been different.

He would have kept his life on track, his father and grandfather would have seen the man he was and not the man they thought he was. They would have been proud. So would Grandmother.

Jason could have lived his life. Finished school, been happy with Keesha. He would be in the hospital by now. A lowly intern, but still, a doctor.

They'd be sitting around a table at Kelly's, voices overlapping as they all told stories of their recent lives. Keesha and Jess would have become best friends because after all aside from being good and honest people, they were involved with best friends.

Jason would have married Keesha by now though. He wasn't too sure about kids, he wanted to say Jason would have waited until he had more time to give to them, but Jason would have always made the time.

It was a nice dream, he wondered if Jessie wanted kids. She was good with them, he wondered if they were in a different place, the kind you brought kids into if she…

He shook his head and rolled to his side, careful not to disturb her on the small bed they shared, she was used to springing into action and it didn't take much to disturb her despite how tired she was.

Chestnut colored curls that she always threatened to chop off, but he was pretty sure she kept just for him. He could get lost on the worst of days just by springing a curl up and down.

It was a daydream he knew. That life he envisioned. He wouldn't have wanted her, attracted yes, but…He had wanted Keesha. If he had someone like Keesha they would have had to respect him, if someone like her had seen something good in him…

Not that Jess would have been at all interested in someone as self-involved as AJ Quartermaine even if he was Jason's brother and rich as sin.

He wanted to believe there could have been a magic pill to have cured him of all of his past woes, but there hadn't been. AJ Quartermaine was damaged to the core and nothing would have ever changed that.

_But still…_

A hand slid upon a bare hip as he moved closer to her.

_That old Victorian on Charles Street meticulously restored as a symbol of the change he'd helped create. An outdoor barbeque, a dog stashing knocked over burgers and hot dogs all around the yard with Emily laughingly chasing after it, pizza boxes open on the table. Keesha laughing as Jason stole a mushroom off her slice, while eating his own. Jess still scowling and laughing over the 'damn dog' and he with a careful eye on his parents as they pushed their grandson back and forth in a swing, making faces and babbling in baby talk. _

It was a nice dream and he hated himself for having it.

**-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x--x-X-x-X-x-X-x-**

**PS AN: I wanted Michael to allow AJ to be a blank slate. They generally give him a good soul (it was that time with Jason that did that), he tends to want more, try more and I wanted that to spread to AJ.   
**


	8. Returning

**AN: **And here it is…The end. Or well not quite. But the end of this story. Thank you for reading and the excellent reviews. SK's AJ just plain rocks and I'm glad you guys agree. :-P If anyone is craving an AJ fix once this is done chapter 2 of "The Path To" is AJ-centric. Once more thanks for reading!!!! )

* * *

**Returning **

_For twenty plus years Alan Quartermaine if answering truthfully would have admitted he had one great pride. _

_It hadn't been his great love for his wife, for she spent more years not being that or on the verge of not being that than their time together. _

_It hadn't been his exemplarily familial relationships because while he knew he should and always meant to take the high road, he could never quite seem to live up to his mother's example. Though he had always loved them deeply even when he hated them. _

_It wouldn't have been his stellar career for he had wasted his potential in a fit of jealous rage. _

_No... _

_If answering truthfully there had been twenty years of his life when he was proudest of them. Proudest of their bond, their deep and profound love for each other, best friends who would always remain such, there would be ups and downs, but they would always return to each other, always be there for each other, despite how they were pitted against each other. _

-x-x-X-x-x-

"Hey Jason," AJ called out as he walked down the stairs seeing Jason in the foyer.

"Uh hey," Jason replied in a stunned fashion, still not expecting to see AJ and still having no idea what to say to him.

"You looking for Mom?" he asked as he continued walking passing a pink basketball between his hands, wearing a pair of heavy navy sweatpants and a grey sweatshirt, courtesy of Emily, who had quickly noticed how little clothing AJ had brought with him and had stolen some of Nikolas' more casual clothing for the time being.

"I just saw her, she seems to be doing better," he nodded.

"Yea," AJ nodded on the last step, "she's going back to work tomorrow."

"That's good," Jason nodded.

"Yea," AJ nodded back, suddenly remembering why talking to his brother was so uncomfortable. "Hopefully she'll be too busy to think."

A moment passed as neither said anything.

"Nice ball," Jason nodded.

AJ stopped tossing the ball between his hands and gave a chagrined smile as he looked down at it, "Only basketball in the house and its Lulu's." He shook his head, " Alice went on a hunt for me. Apparently Dillon tossed the only other one in the pond last summer and no one got around to replacing it." Another shake of his head, "You know our family would probably be a lot nicer if they realized the cathartic value of slamming the ball against the backboard and pavement."

"Instead of manipulating and screaming at each other?"

"Seems to be a lot less of that though," AJ nodded.

"Yea they've gotten better," Jason agreed. He couldn't be in the house with them ten years ago.

"Hopefully I won't manage to change that," AJ truthfully admitted with a cynical smile, making light of the comment.

"You're staying?" He knew about the upcoming hockey game, he knew AJ refused to relinquish his rights, he knew Emily and Monica wouldn't let him go without a fight, none of the Quartermaines would let him go without a fight, he knew that from experience.

"Yea," he nodded, "we'll see how that goes. I can't leave right now anyhow. Apparently the government frowns upon pretending to be someone else for ten years. And without any identification it's kinda hard to leave the country. And I'm pretty sure Grandfather guaranteed I won't be getting another passport or Visa for quite some time."

"That sounds like Edward," Jason nodded.

"Yea nice to know Grandfather's controlling nature hasn't changed. Weird enough coming home to another sister. And Luke?" he gave his brother a questioning look.

"No one expected that one."

AJ shook his head again and let out a disbelieving sigh, "Yea a malleable Edward would have put me right over the edge," he smirked at his brother.

Jason smiled a bit, "I don't think you have to worry about that."

AJ chuckled with nervous relief, "So what are you up to now?" He didn't mean to ask it, he just didn't know what else to ask and apparently that meant he just rambling on, instead of sensibly shutting up, he never had known how to do that.

"I was going to go for a ride," he had time, nothing but time on his hands lately. Ironic since he had just needed a few more minutes with his father.

"Sure you don't want to slam the ball into the pavement or my chest instead?" AJ offered.

"I don't really play," Jason admitted.

That horrified him. "How can you not play basketball Jason? It's the best sport there is."

"It never really appealed to me," he'd played a time or two, he couldn't focus though, everyone just kept talking and wanting him to talk back. "Michael made me try to show him how to shoot." His nephew had seen him endlesslessly shooting hoops while he was waiting for Sonny, but when he tried to show him, he realized he wasn't exactly sure of what he was doing. "He and Morgan like that horse game."

"Knew that boy had good taste," he nodded. "Come on," he nodded, "it'll be fun. Burn more stress than a ride on your bike and a little more exciting than horse."

"I'm not really-" he looked down at his jeans and boots.

"Come on Jason," his hands lifted, palms up, in true bball talking smack fashion, "are you telling me you can't play in your boots?" His head cocked, "Boarding school, kids played in a full school uniform," he made a careful omission of the word, 'we.' "When I beat you, it'll have nothing to do with what you're wearing." He innocently looked away, "Unless you're afraid."

"Was that supposed to convince me to play?"

"Depends did it work?"

"Are you going to do that the entire game?"

"I might," he admitted.

"Can you not?"

"I'll do my best," he tossed the ball at his brother, "but if you win, it'll be because my game's off because of it."

"I don't have a problem with that," he said following AJ to the living room to leave through the garden doors.

"And don't think I'm going easy on you because you don't normally play."

-x-x-X-x-x-

Monica took in a harsh breath with a hand on her chest as she looked out her window in the midst of writing thank you notes. "Oh Alan," she said with fingers atop her lips as she saw her boys pass on the lawn. She stood to better follow them with her eyes, younger casually following older. "Alan," she repeated his name, now cupping her mouth as tears starting to flood her eyes, "Alan," she repeated several times shaking her head in mutual relief and despair.

-x-x-X-x-x-

_When asked about his life, Alan Quartermaine would admit one great pride… _


End file.
